What will this day be like? I wonder.
What will my future be? I wonder.
It could be so exciting to be out in the world, to be free My heart should be wildly rejoicing Oh, what’s the matter with me? I’ve always longed for adventure To do the things I’ve never dared Here I’m facing adventure
Then why am I so scared
 Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries If I don’t I just know I’ll turn back
 I must dream of the things I am seeking I am seeking the courage I lack
Maria - The Sound of Music

When I am completely and utterly outside of my element, I find that aspects of my life – my habits and thought patterns, even my conscious and unconscious beliefs - become clear to me in ways that they otherwise would not.-on fear and confidence issues.
But why then, do so many people give-up or deny their dreams? That is an easy one to answer…..They give up because they are afraid, afraid of failure. Fear is what stops us; the ultimate whoa. Fear is the darkness that casts a shadow over our light. And, fear is what we need to overcome if we want to reach for our dream

Roundup Rendevous Friday dawned snowy, rainy and cold. I went out to feed and was definitely close to bailing on our upcoming journey for my first endurance ride in Roundup. I thought I had prayed it out and went back up to the house at which point Dan looked up without missing a beat and pronounced we were going and that I’d totally regret not going and I had the sounds of chickening out. Spoken like the most excellent crew person he is. And while the motto of endurance riding is “To Finish is to Win”, I thought about revising it to “To Go is to Win Out of my head went thoughts of not going and a trailer loading we went. That in itself is a logistical exercise packing hay, feed and the equine essentials for the vet checks.

The trip to took an hour longer than planned since we had some good ol’ weather along the way. It ‘d clear up for 2 minutes followed by snow, hail, pelting rain and any combination therein. The ride managers Susie and Alan Churchill were incredible. They totally got my pre-ride nerves since it was my first ride and they and their volunteers did a yeoman job of calming me down. The volunteers who ranged from long time endurance riders to folks who’d never done rides, from the number takers to the guys who weighed tack at the end of the ride… completely selfless. Trust me, running a bed and breakfast, and a horse-friendly one at that.. it’s all about the guests needs. And having volunteered at marathons and crewed at the infamous Badwater 135, volunteering is often plum more tiring than being an actual participant. These guys were gracious and managed to maintain a sense of humor throughout (Walmart are you listening?)

My first fear of not passing the vet-check in were quickly allayed as vet Bill gave GaZi A scores on everything. One hurdle down

It helps to know your destination when facing fears… Where do you want to go? Small, successful baby steps will help you reach your goal. For most , their destination is confidence. That may be confidence in the saddle, confidence on the ground, Many riders have lost their confidence through an accident, a fall, or another traumatic event. Mine was to complete with a healthy horse passing the final vet checks Regardless, they love horses and want to effectively communicate and enjoy the magnificent creatures they both love and fear. It is very frustrating to be terrified of the very thing you love intensely. It’s a doubled edge- sword.

The pre-ride meeting was presided over by the jovial Alan Churchill who’d spent the better part of the day in the freezing rain/snow marking trail and making sure it was as negotiable as possible with all the mud and muck. One of my fears is getting lost. The course markings here were so great you almost had to work at getting lost. Very informative with liberal doses of humor thrown in to lighten things up. And while I and one other rider were the sole newbies in the bunch, the endurance “family” just embraced us and answered those “questions that have probably been asked a million times” like it was the first time they’d heard it.

Whatever the journey, are your fellow travelers - Who will journey with you? The best laid plans… if you plan to ride with someone, you gotta see if you’re horses are simpatico. Some people prefer to travel alone, others do not. Some journeys are safer with traveling companions, and with others, it does not matter as much. A good horse to ride, a good trainer, and good horse friends are huge. Fellow travelers make the Journey to Confidence safer and a lot more fun!And while alot of this ride I did ride alone.. I found that awesome as well. A huge victory for me not as I do ride alone alot, but here I was on Gazi doing a great steady trot on trails I’ve never been on and not feeling real tentative about it.

But the true spirit of the sport came when about 2 miles from the end of the first loop, GaZi and I were trotting along and a combination of a rock I think he slipped on and other horses caused let us say a “temporary separation”. I immediately called Dan on my cell who talked me back down to the trail hoping Gazi’d make his way back to camp. I was hoping Gazi’d not gone galloping off somewhere into the Bull Mountains Praying as I jogged back, 3 riders that we’d passed earlier saw me and in typical endurance rider fashion, their agenda was done.. it was about my horse and my safety. About 100 yards up the trail they spotted him grazing in the pasture a little bit wondering why he was alone but they easily corraled him, I remounted and we all pressed on easily into camp. He pulsed down just fine and Alan who’d already gone on his four wheeler to find him was alerted that we were safe and sound. Passing vet check, and now in hold time, Susie asked if I was going on. I said “hell yeah” and she cheered.

Talk about karma, I found out later at the awards banquet that the girl who’d helped me, suffered an “unforced dismount” about 15 minutes later, and several riders happened on her and helped her out in much the same way. In this world of “lead, follow or get outta my way”, the comraderie and spirit is incredible.

Gazi ate and drank well during the hold and we headed out alone on the second loop. By this time, the weather had turned sunny and warm.. a stark contrast from the Montana winter of the day before . A true amen ! During the first section here the “little man ” as I call him and I were just enjoying the journey together and it was a good time to just “be”, be with the trail, my horse in our continuing partnership. I did catch up with other newbie who hailed from South Dakota, though she’s had way more seat time than I . We enjoyed the rest of the loop together making sure the “kids” took ample water along the way. I trotted in ahead though I stopped him well before the finish line to walk him in to pulse down.

Dan was standing there and I could see him saying from the distance “Are you happy”? And all i could do was give him two thumbs up. Even happier that the entire ride I was never alone… G-d was right there holding the reins . We did the final vet check and come to find out were were in the top ten. Awesome since we got to check and re-check GaZi’s recovery rates and that’s where my prayers were truly answered. He finished tired but healthy.

We got to visit for quite awhile with the vet after the ride who while busy vetting in the other 30 milers and 55 milers was a wealth of info on conditioning and overall equine advice. GaZi was pronounced fit, sound and ready to go. Proving that a successful partnership be it equine or personal must be 100%/100%.

The town of Roundup is a friendly welcoming town and the landowners were so gracious in allowing us to make use of their land for the tour. What I got out of this journey despite all my initial trepidations is first, trust G-d, second, Start the Journey!  As I always say when I mount… “here we go, best ride ever”. There is a world of equestrian adventure out there, awaiting those who are brave enough to find it. You can overcome it (heck I took a huge baby step– hmmm is that an oxymoron?), if you are willing to put the time, energy, hard work, and often, money, into making your dreams come true.  Riding your horse on a beautiful mountain trail and enjoying every step of the way is a satisfaction like no other. And in reaching the finish line of this endurance journey, I know I have come home. If your happy trails bring you to Montana, I’d run dont walk (or would that be gallop not walk) to this ride.

Do I hear an amen? Trot on friends, trot on.

Horses are Proof that G-d loves us and Wants us to Be Happy.
– Old Prairie Song